Welcome Backstage
Hi, I’m Brittany Haws.
I began dancing at the age of twelve and it wasn´t until I took my first ballet class that I knew I wanted to become a professional ballerina. I fell in love with the music and grace of classical ballet. Having started late, I wanted to be like the other girls.
I made the decision to leave high school to continue my dance training full-time. I was accepted into the Australian Ballet School, beginning in Level 5, graduating in Level 8. Immediately after, I was offered a seasonal contract with the Royal New Zealand Ballet, where we performed Giselle all across New Zealand.
Having been given a taste of company life and the enjoyment of performing on stage, I knew the spotlight was for me and was ready to think about the next step; auditioning outside of Australia. But first, I needed to plan an audition tour that would take me across the globe.
Let Me Tell You, Auditioning is Tough!
There are thousands of talented dancers, each wanting the same thing – a contract in a company. I did countless auditions, and they didn’t always go to plan. Every few days I was traveling alone to a new country, with little or no sleep, trying to do a ballet barre in a hotel room. The nerves, pressure, and constant rejection play greatly on your mind. Sometimes they’re looking for a particular physique, only men, only women, only people with experience. It’s difficult and tiring
How do you stay positive when you’re constantly being knocked back?
How do you get past those feelings of negativity and the thought that maybe you’re not good enough?
Well, you need to remember what it is you love about dance and why you spent all those hours in the studio fine-tuning your technique, years of sweat and tears as you pushed yourself to be your best. If you keep persevering and challenging yourself, you will find it does lead you to the path of success.
It may take time
BUT
it will happen
Image credit:
The National Moravian Silesian Theatre
I started working in London, in a small touring company performing over eighty shows in three months. My heart was full but my body was exhausted. I knew I needed to find something more stable, so I auditioned for The Moravian Silesian Theater, a ballet company in the Czech Republic, which was the only audition I could attend with such a busy schedule. Next minute, I was offered a guest contract, and in just three years I was promoted to Principal Ballerina, performing leading roles in:
I danced to famous choreography composed by the likes of Jiri Kilian, Johan Inger, and Mauro Bigonzetti.
When the Soul Finds its Rhythm and Expression
I then fell in love with a fellow company dancer from Spain. Although we didn’t speak the same language in the beginning, our friendship grew by dancing pas de deux together.
We learned to communicate through touch and movement and a few years later he proposed to me, on stage after a performance (quite romantic). I have never been so surprised in my life, I think I almost walked into the wings!
I got married in beautiful Spain, to the love of my life, leaving relaxed and refreshed, the new season started full of intensity and plenty of sore muscles. Preparing for new works, constantly growing and learning as a dancer, it was almost time for the new premiere.
The theatre closed. COVID
It seemed like everything had been turned upside down. Trying to work from home, ballet in your kitchen, canceled performances, and not knowing when things would go back to normal, definitely tested my motivation and put life into perspective.
The Price of Pursuing Your Passion
Becoming a dancer is the most rewarding and fulfilling job, but it also requires a lot of hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. When you live abroad, away from your family, your only support system is your work colleagues who become your dearest friends, a family of sorts. Working up to nine hours a day, and performing during the week, you need to have a strong mind and prepare your body physically for such a demanding workload.
It’s easy to lose yourself and forget that you are not just a dancer but also a person.
So, is it really worth it? YES.
Even when you’re tired or you´ve had a bad day, when you wake up in the morning and get to do the thing you love most as a job, as a profession, that is a true gift.
I remember one time after a performance of Swan Lake, I went to bow and was given a bouquet. As I looked up, it was my Mum, who had flown from Australia to surprise me. She had seen me perform as Odette. The sense of pride and accomplishment I felt in that moment, lit a fire inside me to keep going, to keep pushing forward.
That’s the thing about working in a company. You are often juggling many things at the same time. This could be rehearsing for multiple performances or roles, or even changing from one style to another. Your body quickly adapts.
Although I always preferred dancing classical ballets over contemporary pieces, I did enjoy the vast array of choreography and versatility it gave me as a dancer. My dream was always to work my way up to the top and dance the leading roles (if I could).
Behind the Spotlight
One of my favourite roles was performing Swanhilda in Coppelia. It’s not always easy to relate to a particular character but for me, she and I were very alike. However, preparing for this ballet was more of a challenge than I thought it would be.
I soon found out that I was pregnant and not ready to share the news with the company, I tried to keep it a secret (much harder than I thought when I was constantly running to the toilet with morning sickness). I was exhausted from throwing up, and from long days rehearsing.
People around me were starting to worry that I was sick. My dance partner, dancing the leading male role, thought I had a bad case of gastro, and was clearly trying to keep his distance. I kept reassuring him that I wasn’t contagious, but who could blame him, in a few moments we had to kiss!
I continued to perform, rehearse, and take daily classes, all hoping to become the best dancer I could be. But with a growing belly and little human inside, what once was easy, soon became a bit of a challenge. I waited for my body to tell me when to hang up the pointe shoes. When that moment came, I was ready for my next big challenge, motherhood.
Embracing the Unknown
As time passed and the time seemed right, my husband and I, with our one-year-old son (thank you Covid), decided that it was time to hang up our dancing shoes and start the next chapter of our life with baby number two on the way. Deciding to leave wasn’t easy. We´d spent eight years of our life at the ballet company, and such a drastic change frightened me.
However, having a dance career did not agree with the Mum that I wanted to be. I wanted my family to come first. I left having danced everything I wanted to, with absolutely no regrets. I was proud of what I had achieved and I was ready for this next adventure. So we moved to Spain and began teaching and giving back to the world that had given us so much.
Currently, I am teaching at a local school and deliver monthly masterclasses. It reminds me of everything I have learned from the beginning to the end of my career. All the lessons, all the rehearsals, all the performances. To be able to share and pass on my knowledge from so many wonderful teachers and coaches who helped me over the years, allows me to still be part of the incredible world, that is dance. I am and always will be a dancer.
Now I want to guide the next generation of dancers.
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